The Beginning of The Bosserblog

This is the beginning of my attempt to keep our family and friends updated with how our new little family is doing and to journal new adventures with our precious girl. On Saturday, January 17th at 12:16pm, Nicea Zion Bosserman was born to us. I had been induced for blood pressure problems (which I'm still having) on Friday morning and I labored with mild pain until about 11:30pm when they broke my water at 5cm. The pain was almost immediate. I walked and walked to get her to turn her head from being "sunnyside up". I laid with my tummy in a beanbag chair several times with the same end goal. After about an hour and a half of that I was ready for my epidural. Although the relief was fairly adequate, I still felt every single contraction to the very end. Breathing and laboring through each one. By about 3:30am I was 8 cm (yeah!). At 5:30am I was still 8cm (not so wonderful) and my cervix was beginning to swell (a sign that things were headed in the direction of a C-section and that her head was not interested in turning around). At 6:30am I was still 8cm with even more swelling. I begged to keep trying my odd position changes to get her to turn, hoping that eventually things would work out. But, around 10am I had to decide to have a C-section right then or have the possibility that I may have to wait several hours while they did several other C-sections. I decided to keep trying (mind you, I am still in severe pain and breathing through every contraction and my epidural is barely working. I seriously could have walked to the bathroom if I needed to). By 11:30am, I was done. I was done with the pain and I gave into the idea that she was not coming out the way I'd planned. I wanted the pitocin off, the epidural dosed better, and I wanted her OUT! Brant and I went back to the OR and they made me very numb (or so I thought). Then, they started the surgery. First cut, no big deal. Second cut, no big deal. Third cut, I'm feeling more than I want to. Thereafter I was begging them to stop and give me pain medicine. About 5 doses of Morphine later, she was out whether I liked it or not. By the way, Morphine is a terrible drug. It really only makes you tired and incapacitated to relay that you are still in pain. They told me to open the window in the drape between my head and my open abdomen. There she was. Unbelievable! They just pulled out this enormous baby from my abdomen! And she was screaming and she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. The most indescribable and overwhelming feeling in the world. I cried and cried from the minute she was born until the minute we left the operating room. I couldn't believe this beautiful baby had been given to us. We had many visitors that evening, most of which I barely remember because I was still getting so much pain medicine. That night she cried almost continuously until the next day. I nursed and nursed and Brant walked the halls with her in between. I had not had a full night sleep since Wednesday night. When I was nursing her, I would close my eyes for a second and immediately be in a dream where I was responding aloud to the people in my dream. I realized this and thought "Good Lord, I am going crazy!" The next day and night were better.
She has been born for one week now. I can't imagine our life without her and I can't believe how much our life has changed. Brant is an amazing father. They love each other dearly. He calms her when I can't, he reads the Bible to her to soothe her, he helps me whenever I ask him (mostly because he just loves to spend time with her, but also because he wants to help). I have been blessed with how well we have worked together as a team, even sleep deprived. Thank you Lord. I enjoy her so much. I kiss her constantly. I can hardly help myself. Those cheeks, those lips, those chunky arms and thighs, just begging to be smooched.
All that said, the recovery has been pretty difficult. I've been getting around pretty well, but my blood pressure is still really high. They have put me on blood pressure medication, which is starting to help I think, but yesterday was the first day since we've been home that I haven't had to go to the hospital for a visit. It's been hard to rest like I should. I feel so good sometimes and I try to get too much done (like writing a blog when I should be sleeping with my baby), and then I feel like I have the flu at other times. But, all in all, we have had a lot of help. People are bringing us meals, helping me get to appointments so Brant can work, helping clean up my house, and holding Nicea so I can tend to my own needs for a few minutes.
Thank you God for our wonderful blessing of a daughter. She is more wonderful than we ever could have imagined. She is a perfect addition to our family and we cherish every second we hold her and every kiss we give her, every smile she gives, every squeak she makes while we snuggle her on our chests. Help us to raise her to be a lady who loves you and your word. Who respects us and honors you. Help us to have patience with each other and be respectful to each other in front of her. Help us to respond to her with love and gentleness, seeing every disobedient act as an opportunity for teaching and correction rather than an opportunity to take out our anger and frustration. Help us to take time to read your word in front of her so that it becomes as much a part of her life as eating breakfast. Give us the constant perspective that she is a gift from you and that she was put in our family to raise for you. Nicea, you are a joy to your mommy and daddy. We love you more than words could ever express.